Looking back

 I throw on Silverchair's Neon Ballroom and suddenly I'm a teenager again. I lay on the floor, just listening and singing and get through another day. 

Even then, all I really wanted in life was to raise kids and write novels. I struggled through years of chaos and fear and violence to get where I'm at now.

In the blink of eye, I was in a healthy relationship and the baby I'd waited so long for was on her way. Somehow, this my life now. I still have a lot of trauma to work through. I'm still trying to get rid of people I cut out of my life. I hope someday I can finally leave the past where it belongs and just enjoy my new, amazing life in peace. 

In the Blink of an Eye

I used to be a writer.

Used to be.

I haven't written anything substantial in at least four years. I was telling stories before I learned how to write. Growing up, I never went anywhere without at least two note books and a good pen. 

As an adult I spent hours upon hours writing- various attempts at novels, short stories, poetry, blog posts, articles. 

It was my hobby, my passion, the way I interacted with the world. 

And one day I realized it's been at least four years since I've written anything. 

Four years

This will not stand.

Stay tuned.